Am I making the right decision? Should I go forth with it?

   I have been thinking since last we spoke to start looking for a new job. I have been looking for work from home or remote jobs since, even before I started working for Dunkin Donuts. I do not think that working fast food is for me now that I come to think about it. I’ve lasted this long because I need to pay bills, and have a doggie mouth to feed.

   I do not hate the job, I just don’t think it’s for me. Maybe it could just be I don’t feel so comfortable working with all high school kids. Yes when I was their age I was probably just like them wanting to fit in with my peers and thought it was ‘cool’ to be a snarky kid with an attitude making fun of everyone, thinking I knew better than most. 

   Other than many, many ‘complaints’ about work, I am unsure if I am the problem or I just do not fit in with their ‘work ethics’ I don’t know. I just don’t feel comfortable working there anymore, I would be comfortable work there if there wasn’t any nitpicking or favorism around, and training was longer than just a week or two and things were explained better and communication existed there. But nothing like that is there and no one communicates in anyway at all. I do not understand what kids or bosses mean now a days with communication in anyway. 

   But anyway, I have been looking for a new job, more so one that is work from home . I hope I do find one soon. As I find best to work alone/on my own rather than on a team. Though if I have to work in team wise then well, it is what it is. I just find best I work best on my own.

                    With Love, 

                                 Venuz <3

To fly or not to fly…

    Hey everyone! I. Hope everyone is doing well, were ever you are in the world. 

    Almost daily I think how my life could be if I ever made the bold move to pack my things and leaving this town behind and moving elsewhere and start fresh. Just packing my things such as clothes and other nesecities and just go, and leave everything behind without telling anyone. Not because I am running away from everything or trying to hide from anything or anyone at all. But because maybe I want to feel something exciting and experience something new. Somewhere where no one knows me at all, start fresh.

    Maybe it sounds crazy to someone, but not me. I don’t feel as calm or happy as I want to here in this town where I live. It all feels so wrong, okay in some way, yet wrong. As if I do not belong in any way possible. I feel judged, most of the time, and everything I do it seems wrong to everyone else. It feels like I do not belong. Nothing really seems to feel right to me.

       

    I do my best to romanticize my life the best I can, and self-care when I have the change to. I do the the best I can to bring in more positive in my life and remind my self that my life is just as beautiful as I am. But perhaps I live in a world full of negatives. I try to distance myself from the negative and add more positive. Perhaps it may be why I just want to go to a place where I may feel different and not so much all the negative. A beautiful and calm place where I truly can be my self, and not feel judged in any way. I may do that sooner than later, somewhere I know I will feel the way I want…