So, at of a few weeks ago I started doing UberEATS deliveries. Which do not give me wrong I like doing it, one because I get to deliver on my bicycle, and I get to exercise and get while doing it, I also get to bring my dog Toby along with me every so often, that he already knows he is coming along as soon as he sees his carrier bag. I've come to the conclusion that when people I bring along my dog every so often it makes their day brighter. But anyway, not really what I am here for, to tell you guys but this comes in hand.
So, recently about a week ago or so, when I had picked up a delivery, I saw one of my ex's crossing the street towards the restaurant I got the delivery from. Mind you this is the ex that abused me mentally, emotionally and physically, in every way possible. He was the reason I ended up in jail for, because of self-defense and such. At the time of this happening, I was just in shock, I was not talking, not even answering the officers' questions. I did not know what the hell was going on. At this time everything happened all too fast yet nothing at the same time. I was not thinking straight, long story short, I was a mess that day.
Anyway, that day when I had just come out of the restaurant from picking up the order, I saw him along with his twin brother. They were both halfway to the side where I was at, when they both made a V line to the other side, so they would not cross paths with me, or any of such. When I saw them both, I felt not scared but anxious, with a panic attack halfway coming up. Everything, every memory, everything he did and said to me and all the abuse I endured at the time I was with him came back. All of this was when I was still in high school freshly starting College at the time. All this abuse happened between 2006-2011ish. I am not going to go into full detail of everything that had happened or what he did during that time. I just remember that at the time when neighbors called the police or whatever, was because they had heard me scream. Not quite sure how I screamed or how loud and scared I sounded or what they heard that they called emergency services. Which I am glad that they did, or I do not know what would have happened to me or my dogs I had at the time that went over the rainbow bridge a few years back. But anyway, when I saw him with is twin brother, I started having anxiety with a panic attack coming. Though I am glad that I had Toby with me that day. As he in some way being with me kept me calm and somewhat grounded and that everything was going to be okay.
So, after I took some breaths and focused on my dog for a little while I went on my way to deliver the food to the customer. Yes, I felt like a wreck for a little while, but I somewhat calmed down and told myself that I was going to be okay, that I was okay as a matter of fact, I had Toby with me of course and as well as I was riding my bicycle, which helped me relax and calm down. Yes, I took my anxiety medication right after I delivered the food to the customer, to help me relax a bit more.
That was story for today. I kind of just wanted to get it off my chest. I will talk to you guys next time. Enjouy your day or nigth whereever you are in the world.
With Love,
Venuz <3
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