So, I asked the lead person what was one of the main things I could improve about me work wise, since the manager would not even tell me what I should work on. So, the lead said I should work on my attitude a little bit more. Which I understand, I know my attitude is not the greatest, I admit that I know my attitude has been a problem ever since I can remember. I know that and I have been doing the best that I can to work on it as much as I can. I am no perfect person no one, I have problems just like you, it affects me differently just as much as it does you, but I am working on bettering myself every day. It sure as hell won't be overnight that is for damn sure. I am sure as hell not a perfect of people either, like people would like me to be.
I give myself a hard time because I've always been told I'm not this or I am not that. I have always been told I am not ever good enough for anything yet fail to tell me what I can improve on. People are always good at pointing my flaws and what I am not good at but aren't willing at letting me know what I can improve on or get better at. How is that fair or even okay, I have always heard that I am not enough, that I will never be good enough. That is what is engrained on my mind, it's difficult to get that out of my mind when is one thing I've always been told. I always asked for help, yet always got denied mental help. Yes, I did wrong throughout my life. I have done wrong specially to the people closest to me, I understand now as an adult all the wrong things that I've done wrong, I cannot go back and change them. All I can try and do is make things right little by little one day at a time, for the things that I have wronged, hut one baby step at a time and I sure as heck will get there to the top.
One thing that did bother me, that somehow it bothers me now to still talk about it, is the way the manager talked to me, when I asked about having Christmas eve/day off. Says I could not because I ask for days off when it comes to school, and that isn't okay in his book to ask for days off to give me the time I need to work on schoolwork, as wells it bothers him that I have a health issue, Diabetes mind you and that I call off so often according to him. In is book is not okay for me to even call off if I do not feel okay. How am I supposed to come in to work when I am not feeling well enough to get off bed. Then goes on about telling me I am not good enough to be trained how to be lead, says he likes me as person and that is why he hired me, yet I am not good enough for anything else. Yet refuses to tell me what I should improve on. I do not understand how that works at all. Around December 12th I mentioned to him that I had a Dr's appointment that I did not want to miss. Never said anything about me being able to leave Them about two hours later walks into the room screaming at that apparently, he had said I was able to, when no one heard him say a single damn thing about that at all. Yells at ne to not scream at him when I just said, 'I'm sorry'. As much as a Dr. he may be, he had no right to scream at me for any reason at all. He should had taken me to the office to talk to me about the issue other than screaming at me. Oh, as well as I was pitying people for staying when he never said anything about me being able to leave for the Dr's appointment, I had that day. Has the guts to tell me I am always wrong and that I never ask him for help?? How will I be able to ask him for any help when he the manager always makes me feel I'm worthless and that I am not good enough for anything at all. As well as unwilling to listen to me or help me in anyway at all. It still bothers me after a damn week to still talk about it with you guys!! This is too ridiculous! That something so small bothers me, but whatever.
What would you do in this situation. I did report it to HR though. But what else would you do here though.
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